Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Finals


Taliban v. WMDs
Alex P killed Tim M
Owen H killed Ahmad S
Game on!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Finally, the Final Four


After 3/4 matches in the elite 8 were decided in coin toss after a 0-0 tie, it is on to the final 4. The WMDs are a heavy favorite right now seeing as they actually play, so hopefully someone else steps up this week.

Too Infinity v. Taliban

Bukkake Beasts v. WMDs
Tim Manos killed Alex P

Owen H. Killed Patrick M
Moses L. Killed Zach Proux

Monday, April 11, 2011

Elite 8

Hi, I was out of town this weekend and did not have access to internet so I failed to update the matchups for this week. These are the elite 8 matchups, good luck to all the teams remaining. There is still going to be a prize regardless of some teams not paying, so continue to play until the end. This weeks matches will start now, and run until sunday night at 6 p.m. so good luck.


Dilf Squad v. Too Infinity and Beyond

Taliban v. Bad News Bros

WMDs v. Hot and dangerous

Sarah Feaster killed Owen Haglund
Cassidy Harmon killed Erik Kogut

Benjy W killed Elli L
Benjy W killed Annie E
Moses L killed Sarah F
Benjy W killed April C

Dropouts v. Bukkake Beasts.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Swag 16 matchups

PLEASE PAY! If you are still in and don't pay by the end of this week you will get an automatic loss. If you aren't still in, pay because you didn't withdraw your team when I gave you the chance and you took the spot of teams that were willing to pay.

Dilf Squad v. Racially Intolerant Pineapple Experts

Too Infinity and Beyond v. The Wolf Pack

Wolf Pack v. Ferocious 5

Taliban v. Bad News Bros

WMDs v. Xmen Crazy
Owen Haglund killed Thomas Kim
Owen Haglund killed Tom Meyer

Spinal Tappers v. Hot and Dangerous
Tim Cho killed Sarah Feaster
Tim Cho killed Annie Engels

Annie Engels killed Tim Cho
April Cronin killed Julio Santos
April Cronin killed Steven Lee

Eat Shit Derek v. Dropouts

Goon Daddys v. Bukkake Beasts
Peter Montesantos killed Peter Heles

Send updates to me Play begins as soon as monday starts.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Bracket half 2

Bracket Half 1

32 playoff teams

Boner Soup

Mike Bonetti

Andrew Duback

Cyrus Pooniwala

Peter Rafalo

Arthur Sobiech

Slippery When Wet:

Jay Binstein

Dan Baddeloo

Kevin Gaynor

Kevin Denzel

Matt Gumbiner

The Bad News Bros:

Conor Montgomery

Kevin Burnes

Zach Libman

Dom Cannizzaro

Joey Aramanda

Certified Goon Squad:

Pierce Mackie

Jon Newman

Andy Dunk

Adam Klosowiak

Chris Schwanz

To Infinity and Beyond:

Danny Bernstein

Luke McCanna

Charley Tisch

TJ Mihelic

Jamie Nikitas

Master Chefs:

Nicole Huston

Jen Fox

Abby Watkins

Mo Maginot

Laura Hanley

Abusement Park

Ashley Kipershtein

Natalie Holzkopf

Nicholas Holzkopf

Becky Nelson

Troy Farsakian

Prestige World Wide:

Connor Freedman

Daniel Graber

Joe Jablonski

Will Porter

Jordan Freedman

Team Taliban:

Ryan Kuramitsu

Sara Kohler

Melissa Kohler

Ahmad Shams

Tim Maculewicz


Owen Haglund

Benjy Wax

Moses Lin

Alex Panayiotou

Eric Kogut


David Lino

JC Dagle

Mike Molloy

Michael Bastonipor

Andrew Loach

XMen Crazy:

Thomas Kim

Bobby Kouriabalis

Tom Meyer

Thomas Brown

Branden McGarity

Abominable Snowmen:

Harry Kim

Zak Dandrea

JJ Baumaung

SJ Lee

Kyle Kwasniewski

Bukkake beasts:

Peter Montesantos

Zach Proux

Tim Manos

Steven Mainzer

Patrick Maher


Steven Minkus

Miguel Moralis

Max Leonard

Andrew Asmari

Alex Gedalin

Racially Intolerant Pineapple Experts

Fred Idesis

Colin Bianchi

Konrad Ryba

Mitchell Bigelow

Brian Skeggsh

Ferocious 5

Stephanie Sparrow

Emily Sparrow

Rachel Fergus

Jessica Shikami

Caroline Heckler

Invisible Ninjas:

Kerry Kent

Nicole Poplowski

Jay Cho

Ricky Galvez

Angelica Moniak

The Shop Boyz

Edwin Belogorlov

David Karwowski

Collin Robb

Gerrard Thomas

Jack Askin

Eat shit Derek:

Drake maleh

Josh arenson

Cam Irwin

Spencer ford

Eric Davis


Austin Okuno

David Thompson

Jake Markowitz

Jacob Revello

Peter Heles

Alpha Cowboy Lightning Force:

Will Gould

Tommy Neuman

Evan Sucher

Josh Raebel

Trevor Brown

Fighting Pandas

Tommy O'Hara

Paul Jones

Johnny Cowhey

Julius Cheung

Daniel Schwartz

The Spinal Tappers

Tim Cho

Mike Jang

Josh Schwartz-Dodek

Julio Santos De-Soto

Stephen Lee

Hot and Dangerous:

Annie Engles

April Cronin

Elli Lichtenberger

Cassidy Harman

Sarah Feaster

The Pecan Sandies

John Adkisson

Josh Dein

Jeremy Vollen

Matt Igleski

Tommy Cahill

the wolf pack

stephanie mitchell

madeleine salah

mara pollard

emilio isasi

matt angel

DILF Squad

Wyatt Jason- Captain

Grant Patterakos

Michael Potter

Matt Durkin

Anthony Ivankovich


molly campobasso

maeve hanrahan

colleen coleman

john hudson

ethan boner

Team Flow

Cathryn Radlein

Jennifer Bohm

Jimmy Philbin

Nick Alexander

Charlie Day

The O.G.'s

Adam Vevang

Ryan Hianik

Merrick Topping

George Stellas

Ryan Brander

Spanish Inquisition:

Tommy hughey

Sam Tiller

Chris Franczyk

Joey Spagnoli

Graeme McCory

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Playoff Rules


I've received a number of requests to change players out for the playoffs.
1. This is acceptable up to a maximum of two players, no more.
2. You cannot drop players still interested in playing.
3. Vote for slippery when wet <-----
4. Email all changes to me at

Thanks, Jay.

Monday, March 7, 2011


Nope. No more time for joking. its the Paranoia Playoffs.

First matter of business is deciding our last 5 playoffs teams. If your team is 1 of the 7 team names in blue on our Playoff List, then you are currently ON THE BUBBLE. Go to the poll and vote for your favorite out of the 7 teams to decide who is here to stay and who is going home early. The top 5 vote getters will be awarded a spot.

Congratulations if you are one of the 27 teams who is currently on our Playoff List. Your team name was highlighted in red because you either:
A) won enough games to win your group
B) showed enough determination to get into the red zone by racking up kills


To cover tournament prize expenses, all 32 playoff teams must submit a nominal fee of $15. For those mathematically challenged, that is $3 per player. Please elect one person to be responsible for your team's fee, and give it to the commisioners by this upcoming Sunday, March 13th 2011.
Playoffs do not begin until next week.

Please do not try and form your own matchups this week, as it will cause much confusion and could potentially lead to other undesired outcomes.

Once again, congratulations, you're moving on to the next round.

Conor and Jay

Playoffs- Red is in- blue is bubble team - black is eliminated

12 Dilf Squad

11 Bukkake beasts

10 Alpha Cowboy Lightning Force

9 WMDs

9 To Infinity and beyond

9 Eat Shit Derek

8 Abusement Park

8 Boner Soup

7 Bad News Bros

7 Goon Daddys

7 Fighting Pandas

6 Certified Goon Squad

6 Team Taliban

6 Dropouts

5 Slippery When Wet

5 Thug Life

5 The O.G.s

5 Xmen Crazy

5 Team Flow

5 Invisible Ninjas

5 Racially Intolerant Pineapple People

5 Team Nerd

5 Wolf Pack

5 Spinal tappers

4 Master Chefs

4 Make Me a Sandwich

4 Birth Controllers

4 Shop Boyz

4 The Wolf Pack

4 Levin The high life

4 Hot and Dangerous

4 Pecan Sandies

3 Callahan Auto Parts

3 Abominable Snowmen

3 Dirty Bits

3 Prestige Worldwide

3 One Stripped Zebras

3 Ferocious 5

3 Jungle Speed

3 Determination to get into the Red Zone

3 Team Ramrod


3 Odd Future

3 A Team

3 Spanish Inquisition

3 Neon Sombreros

3 Chica Gurls

3 Kilz4Kaz

3 Spanish language News Team

3 Phat Chick

2 MLG Pro Status

2 Team Friendship

2 Sebby

2 Greatest Show in Nerf

2 Red Hot Oompa Loompas

2 Ba donka Donks

2 Cook County Coons

2 The Executioners

2 Team Lyngso

2 Big League Chew

1 The Poon Squad

1 Nugg Juicers

1 Kiss My Anthia

1 Too Can Clan

1 Dominate

1 Gaylords

1 Carry Big Sticks

1 dead rabbits

1 Gentlemans Club

1 Rocked

1 The Buhnahnah Knut Krutcherz

1 Lyon Boys

1 Black QWOPS

1 The Church of Holy Mooseology

1 Green Hornets

0 Team Swag

0 B@llers

0 Sexy Panthers

0 Bloodbath and Beyond

0 Vicious and Delicious

0 Shots

0 Argyle Dream

0 Unstoppables

0 New Guys

0 Money Pimps

0 Awesome Town

0 The BAs

0 Infant Sorrow

0 Golden State

0 Friday Force 5

0 Men and McAley

0 Hood Rats

Friday, March 4, 2011


All Paranoia play is temporarily suspended as the majority of the student population is observing Turnabout. Please adjust elimination strategies accordingly. Play will resume Sunday morning.
The usual rules apply, stay safe and have fun
Conor and Jay

Thursday, March 3, 2011


As you know, the playoffs will consist of 32 teams. The 23 pool winners and the 9 teams after that with the most kills. Next week will be a bye week as we sort out the totals and organize the playoff bracket in order to make sure no team is cheated out of a spot.


Monday, February 28, 2011

Power Rankings


6 9 Bukkake beasts

6 9 Eat Shit Derek

6 7 WMDs

6 7 Goon Daddys

6 6 Abusement Park

6 6 Dilf Squad

6 5 Team Flow

6 5 Invisible Ninjas

6 5 Racially Intolerant Pineapple People

6 5 Dropouts

6 4 Master Chefs

6 4 The O.G.s

6 4 Shop Boyz

6 4 Hot and Dangerous

6 4 Pecan Sandies

6 4 Alpha Cowboy Lightning Force

6 3 Certified Goon Squad

6 3 Abominable Snowmen

6 3 Prestige Worldwide

6 3 Xmen Crazy

4 7 To Infinity and beyond

4 5 Boner Soup

4 5 Wolf Pack

4 4 The Wolf Pack

4 4 Spinal tappers

4 3 One Stripped Zebras

4 3 Ferocious 5

4 3 Jungle Speed

4 3 Spanish Inquisition

4 2 Team Lyngso

4 1 Dominate

3 6 Bad News Bros

3 6 Team Taliban

3 5 Team Nerd

3 4 Birth Controllers

3 4 Levin The high life

3 3 Dirty Bits

3 3 Team Ramrod


3 3 Phat Chick

3 1 The Poon Squad

3 1 Green Hornets

2 3 Callahan Auto Parts

2 3 A Team

2 3 Neon Sombreros

2 2 The Executioners

2 1 dead rabbits

2 0 Money Pimps

2 0 The BAs

2 0 Infant Sorrow

1 5 Slippery When Wet

1 4 Make Me a Sandwich

1 4 Thug Life

1 3 Determination to get into the Red Zone

1 3 Odd Future

1 3 Chica Gurls

1 3 Kilz4Kaz

1 3 Spanish language News Team

1 2 Team Friendship

1 2 Sebby

1 2 Cook County Coons

1 2 Big League Chew

1 1 Nugg Juicers

1 1 Ba donka Donks

1 1 Gaylords

1 1 Carry Big Sticks

1 1 Gentlemans Club

1 1 The Buhnahnah Knut Krutcherz

1 1 Lyon Boys

1 0 Team Swag

1 0 B@llers

1 0 Sexy Panthers

1 0 Bloodbath and Beyond

1 0 Shots

1 0 Argyle Dream

1 0 Unstoppables

1 0 New Guys

1 0 Golden State

1 0 Friday Force 5

1 0 Men and McAley

0 2 MLG Pro Status

0 2 Greatest Show in Nerf

0 2 Red Hot Oompa Loompas

0 1 Kiss My Anthia

0 1 Too Can Clan

0 1 Rocked

0 1 Black QWOPS

0 1 The Church of Holy Mooseology

0 0 Vicious and Delicious

0 0 Awesome Town